Hair update.

It's working! No shampoo is working!

It's been six weeks since I shampooed, and I couldn't be happier. All the weird greasy patches are gone, and although (as Nader pointed out) it doesn't have much volume, it is way shinier than it was before.

Also, it is SO nice not to have to shampoo, rinse, condition, rinse, and dry. Mr. Wright, my tenth-grade science teacher, tried this and then claimed it made you smarter (despite much mocking from tenth-graders and a lengthy oily period)- I haven't particularly noticed any increased smartness, but I am a much more time-efficient person now. I just stand under hot water, scrub my scalp with my fingers for ten minutes, and then give it a blast of cold water to finish it off. Occasionally I'll shampoo with baking soda and rinse with apple cider vinegar, but mostly it's just me and water.

This makes it sound much easier than it is, frankly. I had a really intense trial-and-error period in which a disastrous avocado and olive-oil mask turned my hair into a den of snakes for a week (warning - if you're going to go no-shampoo, you can't add oil, or else your hair will just get confused and never find its natural PH, whatever that means. Also, you will feel stupid, since you spent all afternoon slathered in avocado only to look like Medusa afterwards).

However, now I can safely say everything's been sorted out. I won't say I'll never go back again, but I will say that my hair looks awesomely shiny at the moment and even has weird curls I didn't know it had. My coworkers have stopped asking me when I'm going to shower, and I have a newfound faith in the weird oils my body produces. All in all, a success!