This was going to be a blog entry about how great it is to bike in Munich. Instead, it's going to be an article about how weird life is here on occasion.

Earlier today, a New Friend and I were discussing how disconnected mankind is from nature these days, how everyone lives in air-conditioned homes, applies deodorant, and keeps denying that we exist to satisfy primal urges. Inspired by this, I borrowed a bike from my Other New Friend and cycled madly around the city for a blissful hour, satisfying a primal urge to go really fast while you watch the sun set.

It was great. Munich is the epitome of a Bike City. I have never seen anything like it before. Barcelona came close, but the city could not escape the fact that life there is an exercise in constant terror, and its bike lanes were no exception. Here, though, there are paved bike paths next to the regular person-paths. When they come to a road, they always end in a gentle down-slope. The stoplights have a little walking man and a little biking man. Cars will yield to you. Pedestrians will yield to you. All hail the Bike!!

Needless to say, I was high on power as I cycled through the English Gardens this evening. I was ecstatic, pedaling past families drinking pints, teenagers trading drugs, and monuments being admired. I was so happy and optimistic that when three brown geese made a feather-flapping squawking beeline out of the pond and over the path, I kept pedaling, certain that they would dodge out of the way like cars had and people had.

Reader, take note: geese do not yield. I have now been hit squarely in the face by the belly of a goose flapping at high velocity.

It was painful, yes, but also sort of smooth and tender, like someone gently whacking you with an old leather boxing glove. I hope I didn't disturb too many of its internal organs -- it flew on. I think. I didn't really stop to check, because I was too busy holding my face and yelling, "SERIOUSLY?" which is my default response to children throwing stones and men grabbing my butt in clubs but doesn't work on geese.

A man, passing, went in English, "Someone should really have recorded that."

If they had, I would have eagerly put it on Youtube, just like Cillion and the blanket. I would have had to, because I already have the perfect title:

"Girl, 20, Literally Connects With Nature".